If you don’t know how to copy and paste, don’t worry. There is still hope for you and you can make big money online. That is the mantra of Affiliate Classroom 2.0. The site boldly announces that it can turn anybody into a profit pulling online money machine. You will be pulling profit till your hands ache and then you can turn it over to somebody you trust so that they can continue your pulling, of course, for a fee.
- Image by coolmonfrere via Flickr
It is all about how you pull. But I was little disturbed because it said it would turn me into a machine. “Oh, no I don’t want want to be a machine”, I thought. It guarantees that it will definitely turn me into a machine. But I thought, “Oh well, if I can pull profit who really cares if I am a machine. I can always pretend to be a human.” I immediately turned myself into a machine and started reading the long sales copy that is humanly impossible to read without going insane.
Like all other web sites, training programs and anything webby in the vast ocean of the web, you need to append 2.0 to your stuff to make it really stand out. When you make it 2.0, it says that you have some bold ideas and new stuff. It is not your old grandma’s web. This program also appends 2.0 to its name, like Affiliate Classroom 2.0. I don’t know what was in the 1.0 but this one definitely has more stuff so that you can pull easily.
As I keep reading this long and boring sales copy landing page, I wonder why these things are not becoming 2.0. We need 2.0 sales copy.
“To make money, you need a 7th or 8th grade education”, the sales copy says. So, listen up you all who are struggling in high schools. Just show the finger to your teacher and enroll in this guy’s course. He will make sure that you pull plenty of something in your life.
But you need $100 investment to start your online affiliate business. Don’t worry, you will find the money if you look hard at your expenses. I bet you’re blowing that much every month on useless stuff anyway.
So, what is affiliate marketing? It is the promotion and advertisement of other people’s useless products by you. You will mostly promote useless products that people really don’t need in their life but they always buy.
Like any other sites of this genre, it display plenty of images with five and six figure incomes made by some guy peddling affiliate products. Some of the highlights of the training that you would receive:
- Secrets of making the Pay Per Click affiliate model pay off like a slot machine.
- Whip up hordes of free traffic using SEO, blogs, RSS, Opt-in.
- Dirty little secrets of using Web 2.0 to market affiliate products.
- Advanced monetization strategy
- And much more…
So how much is it going to cost you to start pulling like a crazy? Surprisingly, it is only $1. I am interested now. Let me sign up. I enter my name and email. So far, so good. I click the button. Lo and behold, there is some thing for me to buy. “I definitely need this one”, the sales copy says, “as soon as I finish my affiliate training.”
But the guy is generous. He is giving me a 30 day free trial and after that he will start billing my credit card every month. Also, this deal that they are giving me to subscribe to this program will not be offered again. Why, I wonder? Why I have to make up my mind right now. Why can’t I just sign up for $1. No, the Jedi Master has taught him all the tricks and he is using them faithfully. I could not find a way to escape from the trap. So I gave up.
I am sorry to report to you all that I could not successfully enroll in the program for $1. May be you can get lucky. If you want to pull something and drop out of high school after 8th or 9th grade, do so now and enroll in Affiliate Class Room 2.0.
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